Gekiai Merry-Go-Round [entries|friends|calendar] akueria [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

This would be friends only if I had many. T-T [16 Aug 2005|02:12am] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Kajiura Yuki - Fake Wings... ] My best friend in the whole wide world still hates me. It's not an easy thing to cope with. ;-; As for the rest of my summer months... They've been okay. I've had my share of ups and down. I lost about... ten or fifteen pounds so far. I haven't noticed a difference. x.x I met so many nice people so far. I just wish I could've been more friendly with them... *dramatic sigh* As for my love life? Non-existant. I saw several cuties over the weekend, one of which I have the biggest and sexiest crush on, but I can't act on my feelings. Ever. And if I were other girls, I would've already, so I'm thinking that they're taken. I know a couple of them were. I noticed their girlfriends and heard about them, too. ;-; That's a big crush on my hopes and dreams. Well I can still dream. My life is somewhat pointless, as is this journal. I still can't make online friends. Isn't it supposed to be easy? I'm so shy and embarassed... I've found more things like anime and such to be interested in. As in I discovered more anime. I wish I could go to Metakon or Otakon. That would be fun. And cosplay, too! I would enjoy that, I think. But I need for self-esteem to do that. And I need to get better at sewing. I don't have a sewing machine. I have multiple threads of different colors, though. x.x My life was so exciting up until a while ago. Sigh. I feel so dead. Haven't gone for groceries in a while. Should do that. Been drinking lots of water, though. I think I almost passed out the other day. Could've been the lack of food or too much water. Most likely was the fact that I was mad at myself for ever letting my friends slip through my fingers... one by one... All of my friendships are so fake now... I've got a bruise on my arm from lifting things. It hurts every time I move my arm. ;.; I hope my next entry is happy. ;-; *crosses fingers* And that everybody else is having much happier times than myself.

[29 May 2005|12:33am] [ mood | exhausted ] Yes, it's been a while. Found out that one of my friends may be mentally ill. Not sure if they're severly so or not. I'm pretty sure that they won't be put in a mental hospital unless it gets a lot worse. Oh, and some of my other friends don't care about me. I think they're pretty much hanging around just so that they can use me when it's more convenient for them. They borrow my things, and when I need them back, they don't bother returning them, or they hesitate, or ignore me until they're bored of my stuff, then come back asking for me. I guess that's a price I have to pay for wanting friendship. I crave it, actually. I crave a good, long friendship with somebody who cares. Someone who will listen. Someone who's interested in me for who I am, not for what I have. Jeeze, just add 'I want someone who loves to take long beaches on the beach at night' and then I'm an add for a dating agency. K'so... I was wanting this LJ to be full of happy and excitement. Now it's just depressing. I hope that tomorrow brings a better outlook on life. It hasn't for a few weeks now. I had meat for supper. It was too greasy, and made me feel sick. I had some watermelon earlier. It was delicious. Good, rather. I shouldn't have an LJ, should i? Well, i've managed to keep my posts all public so far. No need for any privacy. None of these frequent and notsofrequent LJ-ers know me in real life anyway. Well... Peace. Keep those smiles on, right where the world can see them. Don't be shy.

Gomen... [09 Apr 2005|05:30pm] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | Psycho le Cému - Akueria (12 Inches of Frost Mix) ] I've been having a hard time lately, so I haven't been able to update at all. Kuso. I've just been feeling so down, and I've been rethinking alot these past few days. Such as my existence, my friends(not on lJ, of course), the point in living, and what staying alive is worth. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not suicidal, I just think too much about everything. Even death. On a happier note... I downloaded some more of Psycho le Cému's music, and have found myself desperately wanting to buy their CDs. I just can't seem to find them anywhere. I'd try online, but I'm not fond of purchasing things on places that aren't so safe with my money. Maybe if I have a chance to go back to Japan in a few years... I can buy their CDs there. My god, I hope it's cheaper than some places online! I noticed that PLC's site had some new pictures up! I only wish I could join the Fan Club, but so far no luck with that. My eyes hurt now, and I want to sleep, but I might have to go somewhere soon. I'll pray for a better day tomorrow. Love&Peacu! _<3_

[12 Mar 2005|07:31pm] [ mood | amused ] I just found out that I'm in 'soybean.' :3

[11 Mar 2005|08:02pm] [ mood | ^_^ ] [ music | Psycho le Cemu - Akueria ] WAI!! I finally got one of these LiveJournals that everyone has! X3 This one's going to be public. No point in keeping things from people I don't know, ne? XD ;_; Want to know what makes me really sad? The fact that Psycho le Cemu won't have concerts in Canada.. WAAH! T_T Come here, PLC! I LOVE YOU GUYS OH SO MUCH!!!! ^^ I wish I could marry Daishi, he's so hot and seems like such a nice man. XD Fat chance of that ever happening. Aw.. Now, I have to get myself some of you LiveJournal users to friend me. Waaaah, I'm a loner! Friend me! ^-^ Maybe some day I'll bother making this friends only. Not anytime soon. Sayonara!!

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